Last week was Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb. 26-March 3). I hope you saw as much excellent informational material on your social media as I did. While I don’t work with those who have active eating disorders (that takes specialized care), in my clinical and personal experience most people live in the confusion of disordered eating. It affects both their joy in life and their health. Body distrust and difficult relationships/misunderstandings with food are common threads that run through my clients’ experience. We talk about these a lot. So many folks don’t realize that authentic health may not look like we’re trained to believe. Please read this one through. There’s a lot of opportunity to reorient our relationship with food and our bodies so that we are healthier all around. One newsletter can’t possibly hit it all, but I’d love to share more with you when we work together. Disordered Eating Disordered Eating (DE) is our focus today, although I encourage you to read the facts about eating disorders in the box at the end. Let’s take a sec to look at what DE is, then we’ll consider some new perspectives. Disordered eating very often mimics health promoting behaviors, causing them to be widely accepted by society, especially when they are associated with weight loss. A few of them actually fall on a spectrum from rationally healthy to verging on an eating disorder. It depends on how they are used and the mindset of the person using them. For example, some people follow a vegetarian or vegan food plan for moral and/or health reasons. Or they exercise rigorously on a daily basis. They feel great and they never unduly restrict or deny themselves food or rest. However, some use these as a way to control their food intake and strive for an ever smaller body. Experts identify these ways of eating as yellow flags for a budding eating disorder, particularly when other mental health issues are present. You can see it in teenagers suffering from anxiety and perfectionism. They might suddenly become vegetarian or vegan as a cloak for controlling food intake or extreme dieting. Others push themselves with exercise. Or both. Diet culture surrounds us in advertisements, social media, magazines, and newspapers. Our heads become full of food rules and body perfectionism. We become completely disconnected from what our bodies tell us they need, and our self-care habits become skewed. Did you know that there is a relatively new eating disorder called orthorexia nervosa? When the behavior becomes extreme, orthorexia is diagnosed in people who are perfectionistic about what foods they will eat - everything must be “clean,” organic, “healthy,” no sugar or refined anything, and consumed at exactly the “right” time of day in the “right” amounts. A similar relationship with exercise can also exist. Crippling guilt and anxiety for choosing something outside of this box interfere with daily living. And heaven help us if your body changes (except to be smaller.) We are also bombarded with images of what bodies “should” look like and social media “what I eat in a day” and “healthy swaps.” We become filled with dissatisfaction with our bodies and our food choices as we compare ourselves to these things. Constant dissatisfaction ≠ joy with life - but someone is out there willing to sell you a solution to your body problems! Fear sells products, and make no mistake: weight loss schemes and “healthy eating” are products. What business model other than a diet plan undermines you by telling you you don’t know what you’re doing, repeatedly fails to deliver a sustainable product, blames the customer for the failure, and builds an empire on it? Body disconnection leaves us feeling untethered. If we eat one cookie, we chastise ourselves because it’s a “bad” food. Either we then restrict ourselves further as a means of trying to regain a sense of control, or we perceive ourselves “giving up” and eat the whole sleeve. We’ve “lost” anyway, so why not? But what I want you to know is that enjoying a pleasurable food is not an either-or proposition. Imagine if we stopped being afraid of our bodies and simply embraced them, as they are, with love and compassion? What if we listened and responded with what would make them truly feel their best? What do you suppose would happen? I’d love to hear your response to this. Diet Culture Diet culture is the leading trigger for disordered eating. The Emily Program is an eating disorder recovery program, and their website provides a list of DE behaviors and how they can tip into eating disorders. Here it is, and I made a few additions:
I want to pause here and assure you that you are absolutely doing the best you can with the information you have, and I completely honor that. When you receive supposedly expert advice on how to be healthy (and what it looks like), and then you are surrounded by a culture that applauds you for working to get healthy regardless of how you do it, you’re going to follow that glimmering path of gold. So why trust me? Because there is a large body of research - formal studies and clinically - which describe that restriction, deprivation, weight cycling, and healthism lead to worse health outcomes, both physically and mentally. These are not the paths to authentic health. Yet, authentic health does exist. Out of Touch Toxic cultural messages about our bodies and our health get all up in our heads. We’re triggered into fight or flight and see our bodies as the enemy. We become disconnected from its messages and requests - the body’s innate wisdom. There’s nothing inherently wrong with making food choices, increasing or decreasing the amount of food, moving our bodies (cleanses are another story!), or even seeking a smaller (or larger!) body. It’s the how and why that undermine our physical and mental health. A key to this whole thing is that our bodies are designed to protect the organism - us. The more we crank down on them to force them into shape, size, or “health,” the more they feel threatened and go into protective mode. Deny it food? It will sense starvation and grab back any lost weight and slow down metabolism. Deplete nutrient stores during heavy workouts without adequate rest and nourishment? It’ll draw minerals from bone and break down muscle to make fuel for energy. Neurotransmitters (mental health) and hormones will be thrown into disarray. And the more we moralize and berate ourselves for food choices, the more we want the food we restrict and deny ourselves. There’s solid evidence for all of this. One very readable source that has collected it in one place is the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyce Resch. In my practice I apply the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating defined by this book, which have proven benefits for overall health and wellbeing. They coined the term “authentic health.” Getting Back in Touch When we tune in to the body, we can align our behaviors with its true needs. Authentic health and our natural shape and size tend to follow. Ease and a feeling of safety and comfort fall into place. How nice would it be to feel safe with any food and move your body with pleasure so it feels great and works well? This is all available to you. Be gentle with yourself and your body. Intuition and Hearing The Quiet Voice Here are a few mindset practices that I offer to my clients to help them align with their bodies. To be honest, they are more effective when accompanied by coaching. Please try them, though, and as you begin to get the glimmers of hope, pleasure, and authentic health they provide, send me a note to let me know! And remember, these are “practices,” not “perfects.” All Food is Morally Neutral You may be surprised to know that there is no food that is superior or inferior, good or bad. It’s really true! Every food is available and plays a valid role in our choices. Adopt an abundance mindset. When every food is “on the table,” we are able to select what’s truly right for us in the amount that meets our needs at the time we require it. No restriction, no denial - no under eating, no overeating. In fact, we can even choose not to eat, if that’s best for us. Every food remains available to us, so the choice becomes about true nourishment, not loss or hoarding. Practicing an abundance mindset allows us to assess and decide on what will lead us into feeling the way we authentically want to feel. We no longer have to prevent ourselves from eating any food: we can trust ourselves and our bodies to nourish us well. Language Matters The words we use with ourselves help define how we see ourselves and how we move through the world (our choices and behavior). You’ve heard it before: would you talk to a friend using the words you use with yourself? Would your friend remain your friend if you talked to them that way? We draw closer to those for whom we express recognition, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. We listen to where they struggle, tell them it’s going to be okay, and nourish them with healing foods, touch, laughter, and connection. Is it any wonder that we achieve our authentic health more readily when we do this for ourselves? Express Curiosity When we’re friendly with someone, we want to know more about them. So here’s a novel idea: express curiosity about your own experience. Ask questions. Really hear the answer. We’ve all had a lot of diet culture noise in our heads, and it can feel a lot easier said than done to hear the soft voices of our bodies. It may take practice, but the practice will pay off. Identify a point of your day when things are reasonably calm. Take three slow, deep breaths. This is a listening practice. Find stillness and silence. Literally ask, “What’s happening, Body? What do you need?” Feel before you label the answer with words. Maybe scan from your scalp to the soles of your feet, inside and outside. Notice what’s going on. If something is tight or hurts, rest your attention on it for a moment or two. Acknowledge without judgment. Just allow it to be true and then move on. You may notice the rising of emotions, thoughts, or unexpected physical sensations. Be curious about what they indicate about what you need. Everything that comes during the practice is information, neither right nor wrong - merely true. That information is what some people call intuition. Curiosity encourages observation, and observation allows awareness to grow. When awareness is present, ‘knowing’ and then compassion begin to blossom. Our true needs can be identified, embraced, and met with love. Cultivate the Pause In this mindfulness exercise we’re interested in expanding the space between a trigger for a behavior and our actual response. That is, instead of having a knee jerk reaction, we make a thoughtful, satisfying choice. Light (awareness) now can enter that open space so we can observe what’s really happening and use that information to make satisfying decisions for ourselves. It’s a more intentional version of expressing curiosity. You can learn more about Cultivate the Pause here. Take Home Message You have the most beautiful body, and it’s working 24/7/365 to protect you. Have you ever seen such love or devotion? It chugs away, constantly making adjustments to keep you alive and safe. But those adjustments can take a toll on your health eventually if you treat your body like an adversary to be beaten into submission. When you align, listen, and respond with compassion and love, your body is able to emerge from the bunker and heal. It knows what to do with proper rest and nourishment, and everything settles into place. Here are some important facts from the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA):
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AuthorI am Mary Virginia Coffman (I go by “Mary Virginia”), a clinical nutritionist who focuses on mental health, digestive health, metabolic health, and nervous system regulation. My unique combination of clinical interventions, education, and coaching will help you feel well in body, mind, and spirit. Categories |